Wide Awake

'That little bit of sadness in the mornings you spoke of? I think I know what that is. Perhaps you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing." - Elijah Unbreakable

I just read this quote in a book I am about to start reading called Wide Awake. Its by Erwin Raphael McManus. He heard it in a movie he had watched. Its so funny though because this relates so much to what I was going to write about.......

Today is the 9th of January. 2010. A new year.

I am sitting at home in Daphne having my quiet time (which is listening to my Explosions in the Sky station on Pandora and reading and writing. Not really quiet time but more like multi tasking time) and just am thinking about this New Year.

First I am looking back at all the things that happened last year. '09 was intense

I ended a period in my life then began a new one. But to avoid the cliche memory writing of the year I am going to go straight to the point.

I wanna wake up each morning and be pumped about what the day has in store.... I want to be Wide Awake. Thats my New Years resolution

This summer I finished the book Barbarian Way by McManus, and it talked about how we should live our life with Christ like a rhino. Running full force even though we dont know whats in front of us but trusting that God will protect us.

I told myself I was going to do that but then Satan stepped in. He put worry in my mind, and doubt in my heart. He put distractions in my way and temptation at my feet.

So began my first semester of freshmen year. I don't regret any part of this past semester because some amazing things came out of it and I learned alot about myself. However I kinda lost myself in the mess of college and was losing myself more and more

but God stepped in this Christmas

For those who dont know I went on a service trip to Jamaica with my school. Fourteen of us went and it was everything but horrible.

The trip was Joyfully Challenging and I came home with a feeling that I want to be more this year. That I want to live fuller and deeper. I want to be more excited and I want to spend more time looking at the little things.

I don't want to wake up in the morning with a feeling of sadness but with excitement. Because I know that even though there will be hardship and struggle I am still free to love and be me.

This is a new year and God gives us chances to start over with a clean slate. You know my heart oh Lord.

Bring it on 2010